To say I have personally had ups and downs the past month or so would be an understatement. I never in a million years would of thought that being a new parent to a 2yr old would be so hard. My boy is a good boy, we just need time to figure each other out. His personality is so different from my other children and I hope he becomes the happy go lucky child I'm used to someday. I can say that each and everyday he does something that just makes me love him a little more. He will not talk so this makes the fustration for both him and me extreme sometimes but I'm slowly learning what certain faces or body movements mean. He wants to please I can tell, everytime I scoop him up and tell him how proud I am of him he smiles from ear to ear. We will get there I know we will. For now though I will take every moody day, every mean look, every smile, laugh, shaking no of the head when I say "say momma" I will take it all because he is totally worth it. And someday I will have the child that every parent would be proud to say THIS IS MY SON! and he will have a mom that any boy would love to say THAT'S MY MOM, but for now we are a work in progress.

1 month home!

I can hardly believe it's been a whole month since we came home. All those long months of waiting longing to be with these boys. Time always seemed to just stand still and now I can't get time to wait a minute or two. In the last month the boys have had a lot of first, first plane ride 26hrs to be exact, first time to meet their brother and sisters who had been waiting forever, first time to ride in a carseat which has been going really great they love it, first time to sit in a REAL highchair where they can't run away while your trying to feed them, first time to go to the movies even if they did sleep, first icecream, the first can go on forever at this point. These boys have come a long way they love to be rocked constantly which is great but my house has went down hill and it's driving me insane.

4 days I can't believe it...

Our journey started back in March of 09 seems like a lifetime ago. When I stop and think about how far we have come it's overwhelming but seeing pictures of the kiddos that await my return makes it all worth it. We started off back in March of 09 wanting a healthy baby girl and a boy under 3 but as time went on our hearts grew and we knew that we could handle so much more. We knew that if our children were to come home and tested HIV positive we would be fine with that....so why weren't we requesting a child or children with HIV? This is the question that we asked for months before I even brought this up to Brett. The day I brought this up to Brett literally opened the best door ever for us. If it wasn't for that phone conversation we wouldn't have the beautiful children that we have now. Makes me tear up everytime I think about how these 3 children because of a virus may of never found parents to love them. Research is the only thing that convenced us 100% that this was the direction that was right for our family. If families only knew how super easy it is to control and how they can't get HIV from their positive child, I think more would leave this as an option in their adoption journey. Telling family and friends was harder than researching and learning how to deal with it after they are home. Everyone so far has been really good about it, but it may be because we refuse to let the ones who have an issue affect us and our decisions. We love these kids so much and couldn't imagine our lives without them. It's something that felt right from the beginning and once I seen my precious Menja's face I knew we made the right decision. Who would of guessed that 19 months ago I would be leaving in 4 days to pick up my 2 BOYS, and later meet my girl at the airport,remember we wanted a girl and a boy. It's funny how when you start your adoption journey you have a certain level of expectation but as time passes you realize how your expectations may not be best for your family. Right now adding an 8yr old daughter, 19m old son, and an 8m old son to our 15 yr old daughter, 12 yr old son, and 9yr old daughter is what is right for our family and I wouldn't want it any other way. So I am requesting the next 4 days to pass quickly so I can go get my BABIES.

Meeting our children

At the airport ready to get to Ethiopia to see our children. A little cheezy I know but when the kids are not with you to take the picture what are you to do?

The airport in Addis, it was crazy and I had never seen anything so crazy in my life. I didn't know what to expect after leaving the airport and quite frankly was a little worried. But all was good after the first couple days and the culture shock went away.

This boy...my kids say he's definately the baby of the family or mammas baby anyway. There is something about this boy that makes me love him so much I'm absolutely lost right now without him. Not that I don't feel the same way about my other kids but I'm telling you there is something special here. Our first meeting with him was a piece of cake. I walk in start talking to him, pick him up and POW I stole his heart he stole mine. I had to hand him to dad because if I didn't right away he wouldn't of got to hold him at all the week we were there.

Look at the picture above I was so happy to be there but our little man just didn't find us very amuzing at all. Which explains the aggrevated look on my face. No need to worry though I was expecting it and by Friday (the day we were leaving) he had warmed up to me. THANK GOD!! He is shy it will take time. The first meeting with him was a tough one all he did was look at us like we were aliens or something. He warmed up to daddy the first day more so than with me, it took all week for me.

Our first meeting with our daughter went really great. The first glimpse of her was her running down the road to get ready for us, we were so excited that we arrived early. When they were singing to us I did everything in my power to hold back the tears but then I looked at her and she has tears streaming down her face. It was finally her turn. Made my heart bust with joy I was crying the happiest cry ever (on the inside of course). She couldn't get down the stairs fast enough to come to us. Makes me cry to think about it.

Our daughters first attempt at self portrait...

I would hate to know that I was the one who had to wash these diapers everyday if not multiple times a day.

This was taken the day we were leaving I held him until he was asleep. I couldn't of left if he was awake. I didn't even take this picture I sent dad in to lay him down and take this picture.

This boy can eat....which is good since he need to gain the weight. This bread was the beginning of his lunch he also had 4oz of milk and a bowl of rice. He was very ticked at me when I thought he had enough and stopped spooning the rice in. I think the grocery bill may get bigger soon.
Shortly after this picture it was time to say goodbye.

The kids have great imaginations we got a coffee ceremony made from play doh.

It was so hard to say good bye to the kids, all of them not just the ones who will be coming home with us. I can't wait to go back.

Travel

Its been awhile since I posted anything to this blog I just couldn't make myself write about the feelings I had. Seeing pictures of these kids and not having them home with us has been hard to say the least. We got our court date back in October of November 8 and December 8. So we leave in the morning. I WILL GET TO SEE MY BABIES ON SATURDAY!! I know there are some people who aren't as excited as us or me but I don't mind. I love these babies as much as I love the three I gave birth to, the only difference is I carried 3 with me from day one and the 3 in Ethiopia I have carried in my heart for months. Long before I seen their faces I loved them. I can't even think about coming home right now. I will try to update while I'm gone but no promises.

Courtdate

It seems like it took forever and a day to receive our courtdate. I had waited for three months to hear when I would get to see my boys. On October 7 I had to fly to Dallas to meet the boys international DR. We were told for two weeks we should hear tomorrow about courtdates so by this point I was just tired of hearing maybe tomorrow. I got on the plane that morning and was so emotional I couldn't figure out what was going on. People on the plane probably thought I was crazy. Soon as the plane landed I turned my phone on and checked my email. THERE IT WAS...COURTDATE the email said NOV 5 and DE

Getting closer

So there is 8 days till courts open we are so close. We should know that week when our courtdate will be. Our file was opened last week. I'm so sick of people asking when we will bring the boys home it's a reminder that while others have their babies home we have to wait for court to get ours home. Hope once they are home this is something silly I felt but for now it kills me to know the boys are half way round the world.